It’s March! I don’t know if spring will be here anytime soon but Micah’s birthday sure will be! Our baby boy turns one at the end of the month. ONE. Where did the year go?!
As I lament (again) about how fast time is going and how fast my kids are growing up, I thought I’d share how Micah’s story started. It looked a little like this.
Let me rephrase. It looked a little like me with my head between my knees, deep breathing, when I saw the little + sign on the pregnancy test. At the risk of sharing too much information, let’s just say he’s a miracle baby.
To be fair, I’ve always wanted a houseful of kids. True, the timing of his arrival was a surprise but if I’m honest with myself, we probably would have gone for three…eventually. I firmly believe Micah was always supposed to be a part of our family. To explain that statement, I must go back to Kenya.
Dan and I spent about a month in Butere, Kenya, a small town in western Africa during the summer of 2010. While we were there our mission included sharing Jesus’ love with the men, women, and children of Butere. One of the women we spent a lot of time with was named Rosemary. On the eve of our departure Rosemary took me by the shoulders and looked deep into my eyes. She said, “You will have three.”
Hmm…at that point we only had Eva. I’d had two miscarriages before carrying her full term. We thought we’d try for number two when we got home. Three though?! Ok! I came home from Africa and painted a mural on Eva’s wall. That mural had various African things in it — a giraffe, a boab tree, the deep blue waters of Lake Victoria and a school of five (yes, FIVE) tilapia.
Fast forward to December 2011 — Nora was born. Our life as a family of four felt wonderful. She was an incredible addition. Not only that but we were still able to go out to eat, travel, do “normal” things and we always had man-on-man coverage. One parent to one kid. There were definitely some positives to this family-of-our thing.
Fast forward to August 2012 — We had one of those “let’s-plan-our-whole-life” discussions on the long drive home from summer vacation. You know the kind. The kind that get you all excited and a little bit nervous at the same time. If only for a brief moment it was great to feel like we were the ones in charge. One of the topics of conversation was the size of our family. We were traveling in a sedan and it worked. Perfect! A week’s worth of beach-going-diaper-changing-toddler-entertaining supplies fit in the smaller of our two small cars. Perfect! We liked the man-on-man coverage I mentioned earlier. Perfect! The girls could share a room in our tiny house, allowing a little more living space. Perfect!
It was decided. We would stay a family of four. As soon as we got home we moved then 8-month-old Nora and 3-yr-old Eva into the same room. Wise move.
The next morning, I almost passed out after reading the pregnancy test results.
A lot of people have asked me how I even knew to test.
It was August 9, our nine year wedding anniversary. We had plans to go out to dinner that night. When I was going through my morning routine I noticed a CRAZY gag reflex. One that I’ve only ever experienced when I was…when I was…no, I’m not…I can’t be…pregnant.
My inner monologue went something like this: “There is NO WAY I’m pregnant. I mean, I’m nursing. And I’m on the mini-pill. No way. NO WAY.”
“But what if I am? What if something crazy happened? What if?”
“We’re going on a date tonight. I’m going to have some wine. I just have to check so I can enjoy that wine. It’ll be negative and then I can relax. Ok. Yes. Let’s do this.”
Peed on the stick. Waited. Blood pounded in my ears. Sat down quickly. Head went between my knees. Yelled for Dan.
Surprise! Mountain, party of five!
“Holy. crap. How?! (Ok, so I didn’t miss health class in 5th grade, but I was still nursing Nora and on the mini-pill so, again…how?!) When? How far along am I? Maybe it’s a false positive because I’m on birth control? I need to call my doctor. I need to call my sisters. I need to barf. What about our cars? We only have cars that seat 4. What about our house? It’s only got 2 bedrooms! I just took a maternity leave for Nora. How am I going to do that the family whose kids I care for AGAIN?”
Turns out none of that mattered.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:10-12
On August 9, 2012 we got the best. surprise. ever. Micah completes our family. He completes a story that we thought was finished when all along God had BIGGER plans for us. Better plans.
We’re certainly glad His plans included Micah’s life. At the beginning I was in such shock — pretending we were the ones in charge and worrying about silly details. Meanwhile God had been at work all along. He provided for all those details and had the whole thing covered, just like He promises. I’m very thankful for this gentle life lesson — to trust in His timing and in His will. In the end, I can pretend I’m in charge. Or, I can trust that this (and every!) surprise was part of the plan all along and just enjoy the journey.
I’m working on it.
Simply beautiful, your writing and witness of grace are real. We are blessed.
Thanks so much!
I loved reading this story! It reminds me so much of our story. It’s so crazy and amazing how God works, just when you think you’re in control and have it all figured out He surprises you! We bought our house when Lily was just over 18 months. Our “plan” was house than baby #2 eventually. We’d even started talking about me going back to work or some in home childcare. 3 days after fully moving in, I took a nap while Lily was napping too. I don’t nap, unless I’m pregnant. We went through the same shock and “let’s just buy a test to be sure. It will probably be negative, no big deal”. And then shock/surprise all over again at 13 weeks. My ultrasound was just supposed to confirm the due date since I wasn’t sure of my last cycle. I remember what happened in that room like it was yesterday. “Your timing is correct, but there’s two”. “What do you mean there’s TWO!” “Crap we just outgrew our new car and new house.” Two days later was Lily’s 2nd birthday party, the shock had yet to wear off. Now I can’t imagine our life without Abbi & Lexi together!!
I love it! I always wondered (and doubted) how surprises like ours happened. I totally get it now and will never judge again. So glad God brought all 3 of our surprises into the world! (And, I cannot imagine a surprise at 13 weeks like yours. Holy canoli. You’re superwoman.)
Margaret,
You are sending shivers up my spine as I sit here, on the mini pill and breastfeeding! Like you said, Micah was obviously meant to be! Kris is “taking care of things” on his end in a few weeks, and after we have the all clear I will nervously stop the pill and hope that God doesn’t have any surprises up His sleeve for us. I’m sad to be done, but it would certainly be tricky to add more babies to our home and budget! I always thought I’d feel so complete at 3 (that was my “plan”), and I recognize what a good number this is for us to be able to provide for and give attention to, but the idea of not having a baby around is tough. I keep reminding myself how much I liked the idea of the 2 big kids, and how hard it was to fathom a new baby. It’s my hope that I’m mistaking my love of babies for my love of Joshua and will only miss the baby stage a tiny bit once we’re out. For now, I’m just hug-snuggling these 3 as much as I can!!!
Great post 🙂
Tina
Hahaha! I didn’t mean to scare you, but… 😉 And, I know EXACTLY what you mean about this whole “last baby” thing. For as physically/emotionally/spiritually demanding it’s been to have back-to-back pregnancies and nursing babies, it will be a VERY sad day when I no longer have a “baby”. That day is coming like a freight train, I fear. Too fast. Much too fast. Kuddos for snuggles! I vow to do the same. 🙂
Such a great post. I went through all the same feelings when I found out I was having a 3rd little one 🙂
No way! It’s funny how many of us are out there! I love hearing these stories.